Have you ever felt that way? Like Every decent part of you is definitely getting used but not in the right way. Like you’re being taken advantage of in a way (especially if you’re working a job you don’t like) - but it just leaves you feeling useless and with lack of confidence in your purpose.
You know that there is so much inside of you waiting to come out. Your gifts are yearning to be utilized in the most effective way - but your mind and current perspective of your situation make it seem like things will never change. But we know this isn’t true…..Or is it?
See I struggle with my own thoughts. I see multiple perspectives on every subject. The majority of the battles I fight are internally in my mind. Battles of confidence, battles of intelligence, battles of worth, battles of integrity, and battles of consistency. And even though I overcome some of these, I also find myself in a state of defeat from time to time.
However, I’ve ultimately learned that I must acknowledge these moments for what they are - and not be afraid to experience each moment of defeat in it’s entirety. I gotta be able to fully recognize this feeling so that if it happens again I can act on it and take necessary steps to shift my energy.
That’s all I need - just a simple shift of my mental energy…
Although I can’t front - at times it’s not so simple (I’m stubborn AF even with myself). But the easiest method I’ve found to produce the shift I need is in the music I listen to.
By listening to a certain artist, genre, melody, frequency, or particular key of music - my energy is almost always renewed or changed just enough to get me through the next phase.
Just this past Wednesday, I was feeling real off - and knew I needed a boost in my faith and belief that all the great things I want will happen for me.
I couldn’t talk it out with myself, I couldn’t articulate the feeling - I just knew I needed a certain power to purge the energy from my mind. So, I went to what I know best and what’s gotten me through multiple times before….GOSPEL!!!
I grew up in Baptist Church, but I also have a lot of contradicting beliefs about modern day Christianity (religion in general) and what the ideal life of Christian is supposed to look like - but that’s a whoooollleee ‘notha conversation for another day lol. But one thing that always connected with me was the music.
Gospel Music just has the power and essence of spiritual change if you allow it to take over you. I personally can’t fight it. The harmonies, the words, the sheer belief and intent from the musicians - it captures me every time and leaves me in teaarss. And this week, I went to one of my go to albums from my brother Anthony Brown and Group Therapy “A Long Way From Sunday”.
THIIISSSSSSS!!!!! THIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!
The title itself speaks to its essence. When you’re feeling down and alone - and too distant from whatever your Sunday is (your sense of hope, spiritual rejuvenation, or community) these songs will help you feel connected again to your inner power. The spirit within will awaken and release whatever does not belong. I just had to dance, cry, and sing-a-long as best as possible. By the end of the album, I honestly felt like a new person with a new sense of direction and purpose. Even though I was mostly crying to the point I couldn’t even sing at times - the universe, God, Allah, Ancestors, or whomever you believe your prayers are reaching - were able to interpret my tears and thoughts and transfer them into motivation and peace of mind.
It ultimately reminded me to not fear my low moments - for in those moments comes a drive and desire for better - and the challenging perspective to make a change.
It also reminded me of a close mentor I had growing up. He always had this saying:
“I’m the Thermostat…I control the temperature. No matter where I go - I shift the energy when I enter the room.”
I couldn’t always understand this fully as a child - but now as an adult - I hear ya Loud and Clear Uncle Billy!
I must know that my inner power can override any other power that be when I am inwardly connected. And to produce change I must be so grounded and secure in myself and my gifts - that everything else around me has no choice but to adapt and follow my lead.
If I’m truly tired of the current circumstance, I will do whatever it takes to change it.
To achieve what you’ve never had you must do things you’ve never done.
And I plan to do just that….